How to Move on from a betrayal

When a betrayal can take place in a relationship it can be very upsetting and it can be filled with great emotional intensity. Feelings of guilt, sadness, anger and misplace of trust can be just some of the emotions that may be involved. However bad and intense the emotions may be, it is possible to overcome the betrayal if both individuals want to overcome it and move forward, however this is not an easy task and nor will it be to everyone’s liking. It will be a hard, painful task for both of you but if both of you are willing to commit to repairing the damage, rebuilding the trust and reconnecting with each other then it can be done.…

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How to gain coping mechanisms for self harm

What is Self Harm? Self harm is a deliberate act of causing harm to your self. This can be anything from; -Cutting -Biting -Hair Pulling -Hitting -Swallowing dangerous items -Self neglect -Putting yourself in dangerous situations Why do people self harm? People can self harm for many reasons. Some of the reasons why they may self harm are below; To release tension and distress Some people find that physically harming themselves brings an instant sense of calm and relief from the emotions that they are feeling at that moment in time. By harming themselves this can release the tension and distress that they are feeling. To feel in control When people feel that in their lives they have little control…

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How to be Confident

“Confidence is something you create within yourself by believing in who you are” Confidence is knowing what you are good at, the value you provide and the presence of yourself that you bring to any conversation, meeting or groups that you are involved with. Confidence is important because without it people are unable to achieve the level of happiness and success they desire. So what is low confidence? Low confidence is when you see yourself in a negative self critical way. It is when you regard yourself as being inadequate, unacceptable, unworthy and unlovable. These thoughts can go on to affect your behaviour and life choices. So what can you do to build your confidence? It is true that this…

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Help your child develop a growth mind set

So what is Growth Mind Set and why are schools giving it so much importance right now? And why should you, as parents, carers or mentors give it importance? Over 30 years ago Carol Dweck and her colleagues became interested in students’ attitudes to failure. They found that some student rebounded to failure while others were completely devastated by the setbacks. After carrying out several studies of thousands of children, Dr Dweck introduced the terms fixed mindset and growth mindset to describe the beliefs that people have about learning and intelligence. Fixed Term = This is when you believe that you unable to change your intelligence and abilities. For example, “I’m not a maths person” indicates a lack of change…

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Happiness

In this blog I want to share with you my own experience but before I do I want to mention that I would love to hear some of my reader’s experiences also, so if you have an experience that you would like to share with me then please email them at ksthelen@beucounsellingservice.com So as most of you know I went to St Lucia to attend a family member’s funeral. I didn’t have the chance to meet the family member in person but did have contact with them via phone and email. I felt silly being at a funeral for someone I didn’t really know but I went there to support my husband. As awkward as the day was for me…

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New’s Year’s Resolutions for Mental Health

New Year has arrived upon us and we are so good at making New Year resolutions particularly when it comes to our physical health but have you ever considered making resolutions for your mental health? When thinking about making a New Year’s resolution, it is important to pick something manageable. Making small positive changes can benefit your confidence as they are easier to keep up with and enable you to stay focus on making the changes you want rather than giving up. Here are a few resolutions that you might want to consider for the New Year. Try Meditating Meditation can give your mind some time out and help bring calm into your busy life. Try to schedule in at…

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Remain productive over the festive period

Christmas music has been playing since the beginning of November and schools are preparing for nativity plays and shops have started selling Christmas items already. The holiday season is well on its way, and your mind gets filled with mince pies, presents and Christmas parties, so how do you stay productive during this holiday season? There are a few strategies that you could put into place that could help you stay productive during this festive time. 1. A to do list Try and keep a list of all the things you need to do. This can help you to cut down a task rather than making it seem overwhelming and unbearable and as you complete each task, there will come…

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Loneliness

Human Beings are social creatures and there is more and more evidence out there that suggests that loneliness not only affects your mental health but also your physical health. Although loneliness is experienced by many of us, it is often overlooked because as a society we pride ourselves on self reliance and being lonely carries a stigma so people do not like to admit that they are feeling lonely. However coping with loneliness in itself can cause mental health problems, leaving a negative impact on your mental state. As previously mentioned human beings are social creatures and there is more and more evidence out there that suggests a correlation between loneliness and bad mental and physical health. Mentally, without interaction…

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Long Distance Relationships – How to make them work?

There was a time when long distant relationships always carried a stigma for not working. However, now in modern society where technology has brought us closer together, long distant relationships have the same if not a better chance of survival as any other relationship form. Being a counsellor/psychotherapist and having been in a long distant relationship, I have first hand experience of the emotional roller coaster a long distant relationship can put on you. However unbeknown to many people it can also have many benefits. For example, when finally seeing your lover, the anticipation can be so intense that the passion can be extremely fiery. Would I prefer a long distance relationship now? In my mid thirties with kids, my…

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People are hooking up with strangers at speed awareness courses by Metro

I had a call from the Metro newspaper asking me to comment on why I thought people were attending these speed awareness courses and ending up in relationships. I was more than happy to contribute to the article Adam was writing and am now sharing the link with you for you to read. http://metro.co.uk/2017/08/21/people-are-hooking-up-with-strangers-at-speed-awareness-courses-6868572/  

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